About Love (pt 4)

for now we're still close but i've just know it.... our relationship is on weak condition that can be broken at anytime. i don't know whats going on with me now, my emotion...my emotion, its to hard to be controlled and it's weird for me cause everytime i've been bullied by other students and i still can control my emotion to don't be get angry and yap my emotion is getting better. but now i don't know when my friends bullied me its like there was a fire on my body , its feel like my head been hotted by something ,and its make me want to punch their head, break their neck, and its feel like i want to bites them and cut them into a little pieces....argh damn... if you wanna know why, the reason why i've always gone when you close with somebody else?? what you're doing that time is make me angry and before my anger reach their climax its better if i go to the other places.the place thats gonna make my anger is gone....

and today i know how stupid am... i always ask you with loud voice about "you've changed to me" but who's been changed is ME... i've been changed.

i've heard the rumors about you're like someone.... thats my friend, before we've got a little problem that broke our friendship... you know when i heard that rumors?? i happy now cause you gonna got someone thats gonna make you feel happy everytime maybe he's gonna become your moodbooster not like me.....i just can make you feeling sad everytime make you get hurt cause heard the truth about all of our stories, i just gonna become your moodbreaker doesn't it?? of course you gonna answer "yes"... but on otherside my feeling is getting hurt cause heard that rumors.... and thats make me asking you like that asking about you and him.... and you answered "no, i didn't like him" ok i trust you.... but next day i heard the new rumors but same like before and i asking you again and for the second time you answered me "how much i must tell you I DIDN'T LIKE HIM...that was other people said and where is the fact i like him??" and i always push my doubt out of it... and after a few minute you said "you never trusted me" noo...... i trusted you and not long from that day i heard again about that rumors and this time that rumor just give me a fact about you, i've look you with all of my eye(2 eye of course) and what i see is you are close with him and on twitter you reply his mention first than me but i've mention you first... and you reply my mention with full of short words but you reply his mention with many words on you mention. and cause of that i didn't reply your mention... and i want to keep it as secret but i can't hide it, i asking you about it and you answered me with many full of words and all of that word is give me many doubt about all of your answer before... and my friend tell me again the new rumors about you and him and i answered "hey that just a rumor, i've been asking to her about that and she's answer that just a lie to me" and my friend tell me "she's always hide it and she's just lied to you" and he's tell me more about fact of that rumors even he's tell me again all of fact about that twitter fact. and thats make me ask to don't lie to me but you answered with the same answer and i tell you about the fact and still the same answer and i tell you to tell me about the truth and don't lie to me cause if you tell me the truth i won't get angry but if you lied to me about that i will hate you and broke our relationship... and why you didn't tell me the truth cause that rumors is make me sick and confused everyday.(i still have a doubt on it)and then i asking you again "i'm is just you friend why you keep hide it and didn't tell me the truth???" and you answered "HOW MUCH I MUST TELL YOU... I DIDN'T LIKE HIM" and it's make me remove all of my doubt and i trust you but on my heart i said (but if you lied to me i don't know what i'm gonna do to you?!) i hide this from you but if you read this thread of course its not a secret again"back to the stories".... and for now i've just can train my trust for you and thats story is give me a few lessons.... about to give more trust feel on you and to don't easily trust about the RUMOR cause that was just a rumor always be full of DOUBT and that was all of the lessons that i've learned from this story...............(To Be Continued)